Ellen DeGeneres Has Made Tylenol Gay For Onset of 'Gay Headaches'

This comes after a new survey fond that gay people are 58% more likely to experience migraines.

Ellen DeGeneres has learned the hard way that gay headaches are a lot more complicated than ordinary heterosexual headaches. A recent report found that queer people were significantly more likely to suffer migraine headaches than straight folks. So like any good lesbian celebrity, DeGeneres put on her thinking cap and created a public service announcement for a recent episode of The Ellen Show to help fight the crisis of gay headache pain.

“So according to a new survey, gay people experience migraines 58 percent more than straight people,” DeGeneres told viewers earlier this week, referring to a recent study from researchers at the University of California, San Francisco. She also helpfully clarified that “straight people with roommates” are similarly affected.

DeGeneres then played a spoof PSA explaining her solution for the gay headache crisis.

The short video opens with DeGeneres backstage admitting she was “just not feeling that great” and asking for a minute alone.

“You know I love being gay,” she tells the camera. “But I can’t stand the headaches.”

She confides that whenever she wants to do something gay like going to brunch or building a shelf, her head starts pounding.

“Luckily I found something that helps,” she happily reveals. “Tylenol Gay. It’s the only over-the-counter medicine designed specifically for gay headaches.”

Using helpful graphics, De Generes explains the differences between heterosexual and homosexual headaches.

“Regular Tylenol treats common heterosexual headaches that tend to steadily increase in pain,” she explains.

“But Tylenol Gay attacks those pesky gay headaches that feel like a parade is in your head, and not the good kind,” she continues.

DeGeneres assures her viewers that all it takes is Tylenol Gay to make the gay headache go away so “you can get back to all the gay things you love.”

There are some standard gay disclaimers for “those wearing cargo shorts, socks with sandals, or have ever hosted a gender reveal party.”

Anyone questioning their sexuality or who “only experimented once in college” are also advised to consult a doctor before taking Tylenol Gay.

“Just because your headaches are here and queer, doesn’t mean you have to get used to them,” DeGeneres assured headache-stricken queers.

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